Reclaiming My Power: MS, Reiki, Motherhood & the Journey Back to Myself
For most of my life, I thought healing meant finding the right expert — the right doctor, therapist, practitioner, or modality — someone outside myself who could fix whatever wasn’t working within me.
It wasn’t until I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) that everything I believed about health, identity, motherhood, and self-worth was forced into a different shape.
This is the story of how I slowly found my way back to my body, my intuition, and my inner authority — through illness, Reiki, and the relentless pressure of being a mother in a world that undervalues both caregiving and women’s emotional labour.
The Diagnosis That Changed Everything
The day I was diagnosed with MS, it felt like the ground fell out from under me. I was suddenly inside a body I didn’t fully understand — a body sending signals I couldn’t ignore, sensations I couldn’t bypass, and a reality I couldn’t outrun with busyness.
Like so many people facing chronic illness, I did what I thought I was supposed to do:
I looked everywhere but inward.
I searched for answers in external help, in practitioners, in therapies, in systems that promised direction. I handed my power over — not because I was weak, but because I simply didn’t know any other way.
It took a long time to see that what I was really seeking wasn’t a cure.
It was connection.
The Moment I Turned Inward
My healing didn’t begin with a miracle treatment.
It started with a quiet moment — one where I finally stopped trying to fix myself and simply listened. (still an on-going work in progress)
I discovered that my body wasn’t my enemy.
It was communicating with me.
This shift opened the door to Reiki, not as a tool to replace medicine, but as a pathway to presence. Reiki helped me connect with the language of my body, the whispers of my nervous system, and the parts of myself I had long ignored while taking care of everyone else.
Healing became less about fighting my condition and more about understanding myself.
Reiki Found Me When I Needed It Most
Reiki entered my life not as a spiritual performance, but as a soft landing.
It gave me permission to slow down.
To sit with myself.
To stop outsourcing my intuition.
As I worked more deeply with energy, I realised how sensitive my nervous system had always been — how affected I was by environment, overstimulation, emotional load, and the unspoken expectations of being “the reliable one.”
Reiki wasn’t about becoming magical.
It was about becoming present.
The Invisible Load of Being a Mum in Australia
There’s something we don’t talk about enough:
The pressure on mothers in Australia is enormous.
Not only are living costs rising, but the cultural expectation has shifted so dramatically that most families now require two incomes just to stay afloat. And yet, even as society demands more from mums, it continues to undervalue motherhood itself — the emotional labour, the physical labour, the scheduling, the remembering, the holding-everyone-together work.
Trying to mother well in this climate is already heavy.
Trying to mother while living with MS?
While running a business?
While managing a household?
It’s a lot.
There were days when I felt like I was holding up the entire world with two exhausted hands.
There were days where the invisible load was louder than any physical symptom.
And yet, because mums are conditioned to “cope,” I stayed silent for far too long. Wasn’t until this interview with Nat that this landed for me.
People-Pleasing, Over-Giving & the Service-Industry Pattern
Like many women who grew up in service roles — caregiving, hospitality, healing, emotional support — I learned early that my value came from being helpful, agreeable, adaptable, and endlessly giving.
I became a pleaser, a fixer, a giver, someone who always showed up even when I was crumbling. (and I DID, multiple times!)
Chronic illness has a way of cracking open the patterns we can no longer sustain.
MS forced me to face a truth I had avoided for years:
I was exhausted from living for everyone but myself.
I was drained from giving away more energy than my body had.
I was burnt out from being available to everyone but me.
Reclaiming my power meant rewriting this entire pattern — gently, compassionately, and without guilt. (Again, always a work in progress)
Nervous System Sensitivity: The Missing Piece
One of the biggest revelations in my healing journey was understanding how sensitive my nervous system is.
It explains so much:
• Why certain environments overwhelm me.
• Why my body shuts down when overstimulated.
• Why I always sensed more than I could articulate.
• Why “pushing through” made me sicker.
This sensitivity isn’t a flaw — it’s a compass.
It’s my body’s way of telling me what is too much, what is unsafe, and what is misaligned.
Learning to honour this sensitivity has been one of the most powerful parts of my healing.
Reclaiming My Power
The biggest transformation wasn’t physical — it was internal.
I stopped believing I was broken.
I stopped searching for someone else to tell me who I was.
I stopped giving my power away.
I began to trust myself again.
My body.
My intuition.
My boundaries.
My voice.
Healing isn’t a straight line.
It’s a relationship — one I am still in, still learning, still honouring every day.
But for the first time in my life, I’m not healing to become someone else.
I’m healing to become more myself.
If You’re Walking a Similar Path…
Whether you’re living with chronic illness, navigating motherhood, exploring Reiki, overcoming people-pleasing, or learning to listen to your body — you are not alone.
Your journey is valid.
Your sensitivity is wisdom.
Your worth isn’t measured by productivity or sacrifice.
Rest is not a weakness.
And your power was never lost — only forgotten.
I’m grateful to share this story, and even more grateful if it helps someone else feel seen in their own.
Blessings, Robyn
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